; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
