You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
