Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
