I didn't shave. On purpose
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
