Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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