Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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