wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
