I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize