After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
