mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize