There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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