I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
