And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
