One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Boobs are out for the taking
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
