just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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