Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
