you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
