New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize