Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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