girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
