i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
