he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Someone signed my nipple.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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