I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You smell like stripper and shame
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
