but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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