How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
