we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
