how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
