you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
