love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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