You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
