But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
