Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize