you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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