Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
