she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
