I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
