Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
