your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
