you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize