so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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