i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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