Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
