I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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