giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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