I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
