I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
