glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
