i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
