Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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