She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she looked like the before picture.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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