Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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