i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize