He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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