It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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