I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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