Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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