Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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