6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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