I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
