Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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