This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you inspire me to be a worse person
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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