i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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