I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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