Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
