Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize