I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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