Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
